Merry Christmas

A Friend Is Someone Who Likes You

That is the title of a book my best friend gave me in 1955. I have been looking for it off and on. It is a small book, about twenty pages–no bigger than a greeting card. .It got lost in the shuffle when we moved to the cottage, but I finally found it.
It was somewhat of a sad find. My best friend in 1955 is not my best friend now. In fact, for various reasons, we are estranged. It had to be. But it still leaves a leak in the heart.
When I was young, I had several "best friends". I also had a list of friends and acquaintances. . My insecurities made me want to have EVERYONE like me. But it is a lot of hard work. There are many times you have to be something you’re not.
I had to be careful what I said or did. A judgement or criticism might anger someone or have them think less of me. It was very important to me then.
As the years went by, the list grew shorter. I was too busy raising a family to work that hard. If someone didn’t like the real me, so be it.
I do not add family into the list. The family list is unique and unconditional. Birth adds. Death, distance, or circumstance does not subtract.
I still have one of my childhood friend. We met at the bus stop when we were starting Lincoln Junior High–nicknamed Stinkin’ Lincoln by its loyal students.. We became best friends that first day and remain so today..
Best friends don’t have to be from childhood. I also have a new best friend.
It was 8 ½ years ago. I had quit a job I loved, packed up my mom, and moved to the cottage, I took a part-time job merchandising. I have had a variety of jobs , but nothing like this. We went into retail stores and did everything from stocking to labeling, auditing, and even remodeling. I was no spring chicken, even then, and was really nervous about what I didn’t know.
The guy that trained me that first day was smart, a good teacher and a pretty nice guy. Actually, I didn’t even remember his name. I was too busy learning my new job.
We worked together for a few months. During that time we became friends. Someone who knew us both, could not understand our friendship. I responded with, "I like his brain."
Here I was a sixty something grandmother, no college and engrossed in family. Bill was young enough to be my son, divorced with a grown son, a college graduate, and very intelligent.
Nonetheless, we became friends. It was not hard work at all. I didn’t realize how good a friend he was. until he got a different job and moved. He moved several times, but we kept in touch, and exchanged several visits. Then he remarried and moved from the North Woods to Tennessee.
Several years ago I wrote of his marriage to Judy. The wedding took place in a lodge in the North Woods. I got to the lodge early and was relaxing in the pool, when his family arrived. He escorted them through the walkway alongside the pool, pointed to me, and said, "That be Shirley." Well, nobody is perfect-not even a best friend.
I just deleted the paragraph that describes why he is my best friend. It really doesn’t matter why. He just is. The bottom line is-A friend is someone who likes you.
There is no recipe today. Instead I would like to end with a few lines from poets who can say it better than me.
These are two lines from a poem titled: New Friends and Old Friends
Make new friends, but keep the old
Those are silver, these are gold.
This is for you, my silver friend. I always liked silver better than gold, anyway.
Friendship
Oh the comfort of feeling safe with a friend
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words-but pouring them
all right out-just as they are-
Certain that a faithful hand will
take and sift them–
Keep what is worth keeping-
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
At the end of the year, let us reflect on what our friends mean to us-
And what we mean to them.
Happy New Year
Enjoy