From Shirley's Cottage

I Am Shirley’s Cell Phone

I am not the first cell phone she has had. The first one was bought used from a co- worker about four years ago for twenty bucks. It was one of those pre-paid ones where you bought your minutes ahead of time. It was fine for awhile, but it didn’t hold a charge very long, and the minutes were expensive.
Then her daughter put her on a family plan and she got a new phone.. It was fine until one beautiful summer day, while enjoying the lake and the pontoon, it took an unwanted swim, floating under the pier. It was retrieved, but deader than a door nail, never to ring again.
The third phone cost full price-no one penny deals. Nothing was going to happen to this phone. She thought she had learned her lesson.
But, one day during a swim class she jumped in, and so did the phone. You never saw her move so fast in her life. She jumped out of the pool, got a towel, and took it apart as fast as she could. Rushing home, she got the blow dryer on that poor little thing.
It took several days to dry out, but it worked again. The battery only held a charge for a few hours, and the screen was a little blurry.
Part of having a cell phone is for safety and security. It you need help, it is as close as your cell. Well, one day she did need help. There was a car accident. No one got hurt, but the tow truck had to be called, as well as the insurance man and the police.
They didn’t get called from her phone. No battery..
After that experience, she got me. I lead a life of luxury. I have insurance. I get put on the night table at night and get plugged in until my light turns blue. I have a special place where I am dry and safe. I don’t get lost or misplaced. (Very often)
I am not one of those fancy phones that do everything but walk the dog. I can text. But I will never get to show my stuff. She doesn’t know how to text. She doesn’t even know how to put phone numbers in my menu. Her granddaughter has to do it.
The other day at work, one of her co-workers was showing off one of those new iphones. Besides being a phone, it can do everything and anything: take pictures, videos, play music, surf the web, and store information.
That’s one reason I know why I’ll be around for a long, long time. It will be a cold day on the lake before she could figure out how to work one of those things. Or even want to..
And by the way, don’t call her. She’ll call you when she can. She’s used up her minutes this month.
It would be nice, though, if I could store her recipes. She can never find what she is looking for. Even on her computer.
Thank goodness for cookbooks with indexes. This a good one for the busy holiday season coming up.
From Paula Deen–Bacon Crisps
you will need:
½ cup Parmesan cheese (fresh, not in the can)
one pound bacon, slices cut in half
one sleeve Waverly Wafers, or other buttery rectangle crackers
Place one teaspoon of the cheese on the cracker and wrap tightly with a strip of the bacon.
(No toothpick needed)
Place crackers on baking sheet and bake 40 minutes at 350 degrees.
Drain on paper towel.
Serve hot or at room temperature
Enjoy!